Is rain good or bad? Is God real? We obviously only tackle big questions such as the former at Decablogs, so obviously, Noah was the first to have a crack. Check out his answer. (P.S. It isn’t 42)

16th July 2021

By Noah

Today is Monday the 12th of July (Editor’s Note: Noah didn’t get this to us for a few days). I just got absolutely soaked. I’m talking T-shirt stuck to chest soaked. Hair stuck to face, socks stuck to feet. At this point you may be thinking, (in fact, you will definitely be thinking): ‘Why hasn’t he mentioned shorts stuck to bum?’ The simple answer to that is that I was on the Northern Line and it was very hot and, honestly, my shorts were stuck to my bum long before I got out into the rain.

But anyway, I digress. Having been drenched, I couldn’t help but think ‘rain sucks’. And yet I’ve been kept awake in the two hours since then (from 6 o’clock to 8 o’clock), wondering if it really does. This blog will conclude that it does, and yet also doesn’t. Enjoy 🙂

Rain

1. Hay-fever – Doesn’t suck!

Say goodbye to snotty noses, burning eyes, and phlegm-ed mouths (pronounced fleg-meed-ed). Rain washes away all the pollen and you can finally breathe for the first time since March. Undeniably a delight for us hay-fever sufferers. After all, breathing is kind of useful in the late economic climate. (Don’t believe me? Skip to 13:45 in The Big Short)

2. Outdoor sports – Sucks/Doesn’t suck

Rain is amazing when playing sport outside because it simply makes it that much more exhilarating. To quote: ‘the rain adds to the excitement with maybe a few slips and maybe a few spills’ – Martin Tyler/ Alan Smith, FIFA 16. But then, you have to get changed or stop playing and the general ‘wetness’ is no longer enjoyable. Where ‘slips’ and ‘spills’ increase excitement on the football pitch, they only increase the chances of cracking your head open in the changing room on a bench, bin, or toilet. 

3. Clothes – Suck

Last year I came up with a solution. A solution to the clothes sticking problem. I realised that what is so uncomfortable about rain is not the actual being wet itself, but it’s the feeling of your clothes sticking to your body. Think about it. When you’re in the shower are you uncomfortable? No. Because you’re naked. The theory states that the less clothing I wear when it’s raining, the more comfortable I am. However, as previously mentioned, my clothes did stick to me and that was because I was on public transport, where people tend to get iffy about you being naked. 

4. Rain in Africa – Doesn’t suck!

No explanation needed here. Also, check out Elliot’s blog on the Songs of the Week!

5. Shorts stuck to bum – Doesn’t suck!

Now, this is a clever one. When it rains like this, not only does everyone else complain about their underpants being soaking, but also, they don’t notice mine were already! In dry weather, I’m an outcast – a sweaty bum-ed leper. But – ah – in the rain, I am a normal man in society, finally accepted back into the world. 

Evaluation of rain:

Ignoring the ‘Sucks/Doesn’t suck’, it’s 3-1 to the decision that rain doesn’t suck. As there are significant arguments on both sides, it is clear that rain both sucks and doesn’t suck. Thanks… chik chika chika… Jazz.  

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